Reihan: The Shiznit

For our money, Reihan Salam is easily the funniest Conservative around. It ain't saying much, obvs, in a field in which one looks to Hendrik Hertzberg for laughs.

In any case, his thoughts on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory had us reaching for the tissues:

Oompa Loompa Deep Roy brought a tear to my eye with his stirring performance. As a miniature Asian man (MAM, not to be confused with "mamms"), I’ve long been called upon to perform near-magical manufacturing feats on behalf of demanding yet playful factory owners, most of them psychologically wounded, asexual, and childlike. Let me be the first to tell you that it sucks. Somehow, the quiet dignity of the Oompa Loompas gave me the sense of accomplishment and pride I desperately needed to “keep on keeping” on. Yet another day will thus go by without my unscrewing my noggin from its socket and sending it on a rocket bound straight for oblivion.

One day, we hope Reihan will gather up the stones to ditch that snotty Douthat (and the other guy whose name we can't remember) and start his own damn blog.